Healing Your Relationships:

Growing Yourself Back Up by John Lee

“Someone pushes your buttons. You feel rage, fear, sweaty palms, unbidden tears—you feel like a kid.

We've all experienced moments when we lose control of a situation and ourselves. Now, in Growing Yourself Back Up, the first book to explain the idea of emotional regression to the general reader, bestselling author John Lee identifies the circumstances that cause these seemingly uncontrollable feelings and shows how they are directly tied to our experience as children.”

No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz

“Discover an empowering new way of understanding your multifaceted mind―and healing the many parts that make you who you are.

“Is there just one “you”? We’ve been taught to believe we have a single identity, and to feel fear or shame when we can’t control the inner voices that don’t match the ideal of who we think we should be. Yet Dr. Richard Schwartz’s research now challenges this “mono-mind” theory. “All of us are born with many sub-minds―or parts,” says Dr. Schwartz. “These parts are not imaginary or symbolic. They are individuals who exist as an internal family within us―and the key to health and happiness is to honor, understand, and love every part.”

The Intimacy Factor by Pia Mellody

“Mellody now shares what she has learned about why intimate relationships falter—and what makes them work. Using the most up–to–date research and real–life examples, including her own compelling personal journey, Mellody provides readers with profoundly insightful and practical ground rules for relationships that achieve and maintain joyous intimacy.

This invaluable resource helps diagnose the causes of faulty relationships—many of them rooted in childhood—and provides tools for readers to heal themselves, enabling them to establish and maintain healthy relationships.”

The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist by Debbie Nirza

“When most people think of a narcissist, they think of someone who is grandiose, obviously self-absorbed, sees themself as superior to others, and throws fits of rage when they don’t get their way. But what if the narcissist is one of the nicest people you’ve ever met? What if they are a great listener, seem to care about others, or are a pillar of the community? What if they are the mother that volunteers at the school, the husband that your friends wish they had, the boss that your co-workers feel so lucky to work for? Parents, spouses, partners, bosses, and friends who are covert narcissists come across as the nicest people. They can be spiritual leaders, therapists, moms who bring over casseroles to needy people, and bosses who everyone loves.

A covert narcissist has the same traits of narcissism as the well-known overt type. The difference is when they control and manipulate, when they demean and devalue you, it is done in such a subtle way you don’t notice it.

This type of narcissism is one of the most damaging forms because the abuse is so hidden and so insidious. You can be in a relationship with a covert narcissist that can last for decades and not realize you are being psychologically and emotionally controlled, manipulated, and abused. There are no visible scars with this form of abuse, and you are usually the only one that experiences their destructive and psychologically debilitating behavior.”

Adopted Adults:

The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier

“The Primal Wound is a seminal work which revolutionizes the way we think about adoption. It describes and clarifies the effects of separating babies from their birth mothers as a primal loss which affects the relationships of the adopted person throughout life.. It is a book about pre-and perinatal psychology, attachment, bonding, and loss. It gives adoptees, whose pain has long been unacknowledged or misunderstood, validation for their feelings, as well as explanations for their behavior. It lists the coping mechanisms which adoptees use to be able to attach and live in a family to whom they are not related and with whom they have no genetic cues. It will contribute to the healing of all members of the adoption triad and will bring understanding and encouragement to anyone who has ever felt abandoned.”

Parenting:

The Explosive Child by Ross Greene, PH.D.

“What’s an explosive child? A child who responds to routine problems with extreme frustration—crying, screaming, swearing, kicking, hitting, biting, spitting, destroying property, and worse. A child whose frequent, severe outbursts leave his or her parents feeling frustrated, scared, worried, and desperate for help. Most of these parents have tried everything-reasoning, explaining, punishing, sticker charts, therapy, medication—but to no avail. They can’t figure out why their child acts the way he or she does; they wonder why the strategies that work for other kids don’t work for theirs; and they don’t know what to do instead.”

Get Out of My Life, but first could you drive me and Cheryl to the mall  by Anthony Wolf, Ph.D.

“Dr. Wolf points out that while the basic issues of adolescence and the relationships between parents and their children remain much the same, today's teenagers navigate a faster, less clearly anchored world. Wolf's revisions include a new chapter on the Internet, a significantly modified section on drugs and drinking, and an added piece on gay teenagers.”

Breaking Free of Child Anxiety and OCD, Eli Lebowtiz, Ph.D.

“Breaking Free of Child Anxiety and OCD: A Scientifically Proven Program for Parents is the first and only book to provide a completely parent-based treatment program for child and adolescent anxiety. Parents will learn how to alleviate their children's anxiety by changing the way they themselves respond to their children's symptoms--importantly, parents are not required to impose changes on their children's behavior. Instead, parents are shown how to replace their own accommodating behaviors (which allow anxiety to flourish) with supportive responses that demonstrate both acceptance of children's difficulties and confidence in their ability to cope. From understanding child anxiety and OCD, to learning how to talk with an anxious child, to avoiding common traps and pitfalls (such as being overly protective or demanding) to identifying the ways in which parents have been enabling a child's anxious behaviors, this book is full of detailed guidance and practical suggestions. Worksheets.”

The Conscious Parent by Shefali Tsabary, Ph.D.

“In Dr. Shefali Tsabary's conscious approach to parenting, however, children serve as mirrors of their parents' forgotten self. Those willing to look in the mirror have an opportunity to establish a relationship with their own inner state of wholeness. Once they find their way back to their essence, parents enter into communion with their children, shifting away from the traditional parent-to-child "know it all" approach and more towards a mutual parent-with-child relationship. The pillars of the parental ego crumble as the parents awaken to the ability of their children to transport them into a state of presence.”

Mindset by Carol Dweck, Ph.D. 

“After decades of research, world-renowned Stanford University psychologist Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D., discovered a simple but groundbreaking idea: the power of mindset. In this brilliant book, she shows how success in school, work, sports, the arts, and almost every area of human endeavor can be dramatically influenced by how we think about our talents and abilities. People with a fixed mindset—those who believe that abilities are fixed—are less likely to flourish than those with a growth mindset—those who believe that abilities can be developed. Mindset reveals how great parents, teachers, managers, and athletes can put this idea to use to foster outstanding accomplishment.”

Trauma:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

“Melody Beattie integrates her own life experiences and fundamental recovery reflections in this unique daily meditation book written especially for those of us who struggle with the issue of codependency. Problems are made to be solved, Melody reminds us, and the best thing we can do is take responsibility for our own pain and self-care. In this daily inspirational book, Melody provides us with a thought to guide us through the day and she encourages us to remember that each day is an opportunity for growth and renewal.”

You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay

“Exploring the way that limiting thoughts and ideas control and constrict us, she offers us a powerful key to understanding the roots of our physical dis-eases and discomforts. Full of positive affirmations, this practical guidebook will change the way you think forever!”

Men:

I Don’t Want To Talk About It by Terrence Real

“Twenty years of experience treating men and their families has convinced psychotherapist Terrence Real that depression is a silent epidemic in men—that men hide their condition from family, friends, and themselves to avoid the stigma of depression’s “un-manliness.” Problems that we think of as typically male—difficulty with intimacy, workaholism, alcoholism, abusive behavior, and rage—are really attempts to escape depression. And these escape attempts only hurt the people men love and pass their condition on to their children.”

Perinatal/Postpartum:

Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts: A Healing Guide to the Secret Fears of New Mothers by Karen Kleiman

“Over 90 percent of new mothers will have scary, intrusive thoughts about their baby and themselves. What if I drop him? What if I snap and hurt my baby? Mothering is so hard. I don't know if I really want to do this anymore. Gosh, I'm so terrible for thinking that! Yet for too many mothers, those thoughts remain secret, hidden away in shame that make you feel even worse. But here's the good news: you CAN feel better!”

This Isn’t What I Expected by Karen Kleiman

“If you or someone you love is among the one in seven women stricken by PPD, you know how hard it is to get real help. This proven self-help program, which can be used alone or with a support group or therapist, will help you monitor each phase of illness, recognize when you need professional help, cope with daily life, and recover with new strength and confidence.”

You Are a F*cking Awesome Mom by Leslie Anne Bruce

“She offers the self-empowerment lessons new mothers need to get through the psychic upheaval and emerge stronger than ever. After childbirth, a woman's body, her relationships, and her very sense of self are tested like never before. Bruce encourages readers to look past the sugarcoated truisms about the miracles of child-rearing in order to embrace the real joys of motherhood, spit-up stains and all.”

Couples:

Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build A More Loving Relationship by Terrance Real

Not much is harder than figuring out how to love your partner in all their messy humanness—and there’s also not much that’s more important. 

At a time when toxic individualism is rending our society at every level, bestselling author and renowned marriage counselor Terrence Real sees how it poisons intimate relationships in his therapy practice, where he works with couples on the brink of disaster. The good news: Warmer, closer, more passionate relationships are possible if you have the right tools. 

In his transformative new book Us, Real brilliantly observes how our winner-takes-all culture infiltrates families with devastating results: repetitive fights that go nowhere, or a distant relationship in which partners end up living “alone together.” With deft insight, humor, and charm, Real guides you to transform your relationship into one that’s based on compassion, collaboration, and closeness.